Regular readers will recognize Becka’s name, as I’ve often mentioned her helping me with promotion ideas. Becka is also a WebLit author, and has converted the first arc of her series, Dragon Wars, into an ebook and a print edition. She’s going on a blog tour to promote the book’s release, and today, she’s coming to my blog with some handy dragon survival tips. Since I’ve already talked about surviving zombie and werewolf attacks in my own quirky way, this post should fit right in here.
So, without further ado, here’s Becka…
Thank you, Zoe, for hosting me today.
You know, I was sitting here thinking about what should I write about and drawing a blank. Then it came to me: dragon attack survival tactics! I mean by now everyone knows how to survive the coming zombie apocalypse but what do you do if you’re going about your daily business and suddenly dragons attack? It’s every bit as likely but no one seems to be planning for a dragon invasion.
Here’s the best advice I can give you.
1. Do not be tempted to try and placate them. Sure it starts with livestock but next thing you know, you’re tying virgins to poles in your garden pretty much every day.
2. If caught in the open, run away and seek shelter. That’s right: run away as fast as you can unless your day job involves heavy artillery. Dragons are huge flying lizards with tough hides so unless you have a surface to air missile up your sleeve (and if you do, how big are your sleeves?) getting somewhere the dragon can’t get to you is your best chance.
3. Do not shoot at a dragon with a bow and arrow or a normal gun unless you’re a) a superb shot and b) can clearly see the weak spot they supposedly have. You’ll only annoy them otherwise and annoying the giant flying lizard is not the path of wisdom.
4. Obtain heavy weaponry – and people who can use it – as quickly and expediently as you can.
5. Avoid hiding places that could act like wind tunnels or chimneys. Dragons are highly intelligent and breath fire so such places can easily become killing zones if they scent you out, even when they can’t get inside.
6. By the same token, make sure your dragon apocalypse hideout is fireproof. Hydroponics in the basement is also recommended so you can avoid going out.
So that’s my dragon survival tips. What would yours be?
(Editor’s note: Comments are open for those who wish to chat with Becka.)
Becka Sutton is a self-described crazy cat lady, but she’s not very good at it: while she is crazy she only has one cat. She was born in Britain in 1972 and has lived there her entire life. In her early teens she started scrawling fantasy stories in exercise books her mother bought her to stop her scribbling in her school books. She hasn’t stopped writing since, and she credits writing as the outlet that allowed her to recover from the nervous breakdown she had after her parents died.
Her other interests include reading, listening to music, attempting to draw, growing her own vegetables and looking after the aforementioned Pumpkin cat.
No, you can’t read the novel she scrawled as a teen – she burned it long ago because it was awful.