Okay, so, I’m not big on Black Friday, or on any commercial holiday. I won’t go shopping today, unless it was for groceries at a local shop. By the same token, I won’t host a Black Friday sale. I don’t want to encourage this or participate in it. I don’t even want to discount my books in the spirit of Black Friday.
BUT, it has occurred to me that during this holiday season, many of you will have bought new ereaders that you can load your own books to if you buy them at Smashwords. Well, you just spent the big bucks on e-ink or OLED screens, and you come to my bookstore, and I’ve only got two free vampire books, and nothing else on sale. And you’ll be upset. You be all like, “What gives, bitch? Where’s your holiday spirit? Can’t I have some free books for my new ereader?”
Well, you may have a point, but you also may want to back off the spiked eggnog for an hour or two. I’m not preachy, but you smell like rum and cinnamon vomit. But getting back to the part you’re right about, I haven’t had a holiday sale in like…ever. And the holidays are times when people need a little bit of a break cut for all the other shit they have to get. So, I’m going to make a few of my newer titles free with a coupon code for Christmas and a li’l bit of the new year, just to catch the late January ereader shoppers. I will try to have a little something from each genre represented, so if free vampires weren’t your thing, I will try to have something for you.
If my free selections don’t grab you, all other titles will also be discounted with coupon codes for this holiday sale. So new readers who were hesitant to jump in for my prices, now’s a chance to sample whole books gratis or at a decent discount.
And one last thing. People, please be careful out there today, and try to practice some goodwill toward your fellow men. When shopping, do not bring mace, pepper spray, or a gun to the store. If this is how you “spread holiday cheer,” then congratulations, Ebenezer. You’re fucking up the holiday for other people because you had to be a douche and turn this into a competition for cheap plastic. So for the people who bring weapons to assault or frighten other shoppers, I hope you have a bad potato and see vapors after consuming your holiday spirits.
To the rest of y’all peace to you, and please think a mantra of “goodwill” even as other people give you the urge to kill.