Twas the eve before Christmas, or so the tale goes,
but this is not the same story that everyone knows.
So gather your eggnog, and stock up on rum,
then wrap up your tootsies, and drop on your bum.
Gather round the fire and give a listen to me,
and I’ll tell you the story of a holiday killing spree
caused by the Krampus and a wyrm named Dimitri.
(Some sensitive readers may become queasy.)